Matchmaker Success

The Right One ~ Shannon Payette

“If you’re going to spend all this money for a service, then you want it to be about you. I want it to be about my needs and my wants. I want to be a little selfish, because in every other area of your life, you have to not be selfish.” - Shannon
 
Before joining The Right One, how would you describe your dating life?

It was pretty much nonexistent.  

What originally drew you to The Right One?

I’m a busy person. I don’t like to drink or to go out and party. I just wasn’t into that style, and a lot of my friends have been my friends for years. So, at this point, I’m not getting set up and not meeting new people. It was nice to find a different avenue where somebody else could help me.

How serious are you about finding a relationship?

I don’t want to go on a date with someone who just wants to hang out. I want to date people who are serious about finding a person they want to spend the rest of their life with. That is why I joined.

You’ve been with our service for a year. I, as your matchmaker, haven’t found your “right one” yet. I’m committed to doing that for you.

I feel that you and I have a good relationship where I can call, vent and say what’s going on. Honestly, I think the relationship between the matchmaker and the person is huge. I truly believe it’s about the connection that you make, because then, you’ll be able to know my personality. 

Having been a member of The Right One for a while now, do you still get excited when you receive date referrals?

Absolutely! Getting referrals is the highlight of my mail day.

Do you believe you are given enough information about a date referral prior to the first meeting?

The amount of information that is given is fine. It would be nice sometimes to have a picture to go with the information, but I understand why it’s not part of it. That is the hardest part. You’re just getting the basics so that you can make the phone call and then meet. You don’t need too much for that.

Still, I think that first reaction with any kind of blind date is, “What are they going to think of me? They don’t know what I look like!” So, I guess that is some of that anxiety that goes into that first date.

But do you mostly feel confident going into the first dates The Right One finds for you?

Yeah, I’ve had some very nice dates.

How do you feel about the fact our service does security checks?

That’s a huge draw, especially in this society. With The Right One, it’s nice to know that they have to have an interview to be allowed in. It’s nice to know that they have to have a background check. 

Are you satisfied with the level of confidentiality that is provided at The Right One?

I don’t feel that anybody is giving out any information. I’m never worried.

What about the level of communication?

You really do a good job of listening when I say, “I don’t know what you were thinking!” It makes me feel safe to know that I can call and say, “I’m sorry, this person and I are not even merging,” knowing you will say, “Listen, I’ll step in. Don’t worry about it.” It’s good for me, too.

I’ve had a lot of people where it definitely fits exactly what I want. However, it’s also nice to know that if it’s not going to be a positive experience that I have some backup.

So, you feel you’ve gotten a few “bad eggs” in there?

Absolutely, but it’s less than if I was doing it myself.

Talk to me more about the routine of giving and receiving feedback after dates.

I try to be as point blank as I can. On the other hand, it’s a first date. You’re like this is what I gleaned from this person. Things can change though, I guess.

At least on my end, I want to know the feedback about me. I’m a teacher. If I’m going to give feedback to a kid -- positive and negative -- I want to feel that they’re taking something away from it. If there is bad feedback, you say, “Shannon, this has come up a few times. Maybe we can talk about it.”

If there was something glaring, I found a way to channel it…

Right and that made me feel better.

… as part of improving your dating experience.

Absolutely. I think the feedback is more for you in a way. I’m trying to say what I liked or didn’t like. As long as what I’m sending is helping you with finding my future matches, I’m good. 

How has being patient and open-minded helped you throughout this process?

It’s good to be open. You try to be flexible. You try to see things, but it’s also good for me to be able to say, “Listen, I just can’t be flexible about this piece,” and know that you are OK with that. I think that’s important.

The matchmaker/dater relationship is just like a teacher/kid relationship. If the kid is not feeling that you’re there for them, he or she is not going to give you anything. With me, I know that you are there for me and doing the best you can. So, I just sit back and let you do your job while I go on with my merry life. Then, I call and bug you, and we check in.

In retrospect, are you glad you signed up for The Right One?

I like the service. For the most part, I think it’s definitely fitting my criteria of what I need and what I want. That is the biggest thing. If you’re going to spend all this money for a service, then you want it to be about you. I want it to be about my needs and my wants. I want to be a little selfish, because in every other area of your life, you have to not be selfish.

So, you’re going to hang in there with me?

I’m hanging in. Don’t let me down, woman!

The Right One ~ Rhonda & John

I liked her. Out of all the women I had met she was the most open and honest. - John

What were your dating experiences before you came to The Right One?

I didn’t have any. I was married for 15 years.

Did you come into the service shortly after you were divorced?

Yes, I did.

What made you decide to give this a try?

I had tried online dating but it wasn’t really for me. A lot of people just didn’t seem real. People weren’t willing to meet, profiles weren’t what they said they were and pictures weren’t what they appeared to be.

Because of my busy schedule, it suited me because I didn’t have to worry about looking. I could just go to work and then have somebody call me and say, "We have what might be a match. Do you want to meet?"

So do you think your matchmaker was helpful even as far as answering your questions and picking those personalized matches for you?

Yeah, she was helpful. Paula did a good job and she communicated very well and I really enjoyed working with her.

Excellent. Looking back on the process, if you could pick one thing that made you successful what would that be?

Not giving up because I had 16 dates and I was just about to give up. Then Paula came up with one more, another date and said, "Just try this one." That was the one where I met Rhonda.

Tell me about Rhonda. What was your first impression of Rhonda?

I liked her. Out of all the women I had met, she was the most open and honest. We basically just hit it off and we dated and she enjoyed doing a lot of things I liked. She’s a skier and she’s willing to try new things as I am.

So basically after each date, it grew stronger and stronger and I just realized that this is the woman that I wanted to be serious with.

How was the first date?

We just had lunch together. On the second date we went to Mystic and I made a picnic lunch. Then we watched a movie together that night.

Was there a specific moment that you just knew that she was right for you?

Yeah, when I was going away for a week to visit my family. I invited her to come with me after probably the 5th date. She came with me and we spent the week together. We had a good time and did a lot of good things together and that’s when I think we both realized we were meant to be with each other and wanted to go further. By October, she was living with me and in December I asked her to marry me and on October 3rd this year, we’ll be married.

What did your family think of you getting involved with The Right One?

My mother was skeptical and always told me to be careful, as a mother would do, and not to rush things. Even her friends and some of her family thought she was rushing until they met me. Then they realized, "Hey, maybe you have something here, you guys."

What advice would you give to a brand new member who just joined the service to be successful?

You have to give as much information about yourself as you can, what you want, and what you’re looking for.

So really make sure you’re explaining yourself and getting all that information out there so we will best know how to match you, more or less.

Right, so and communicate with the person, be open with the person, be honest and let them know this is what I want and this is what I’m looking for so you don’t waste somebodys time.

The Right One ~ Velda & Michael

“Velda makes me want to be a better man”- Michael

What were your dating experiences before you came to The Right One?

Less than satisfactory. I’m not the kind of person that can just go out and meet people. The Right One helped me meet the right person because I wasn’t having any luck doing that with the traditional venues, going out to clubs, concerts, walking out in town hoping to run into somebody. That never really works for me.

What made you go with the matchmaking service versus the online service?

I was unaware of online services when I became involved with The Right One. The thing I was interested in was to have prescreening done, background information so I wouldn’t be wasting my time. I didn’t have to meet somebody that I wasn’t at least somewhat compatible with.

What was the consultation like for you?

It was long but it was interesting. I remember filling out a questionnaire and I recall there were well over 100 questions.

Do you feel there was enough information gathered to help you find the right one?

Yes.

Do you agree remaining open-minded helped you find success?

Yeah, I think that’s very important. When you outline certain parameters, like you say you’re looking for somebody between the ages of say X and Y or you might specify that you're religious or what not. But the more limitations you put on it the more restricted the search becomes and the longer it can take.

When I met Velda, she told me she wasn’t looking for a husband, she was just looking for somebody to go out with and have fun. Then our friend told me that Velda asked him, "When do you think Michael might ask me the question?"

I remember when I proposed to her she was basically speechless for about 5 minutes and Velda is not speechless. She’s very outgoing. But it was wonderful.

Where did you propose?

Actually I proposed at home. It was a Saturday and her birthday was coming up on that Monday, which was November 13, and I was thinking about waiting until her birthday but then I decided to propose that Saturday.

We’re still on the honeymoon and June 30th will be our 2nd anniversary. Nothing bad has happened in the relationship and she’s my best friend, my lover, my wife. She and I can talk about anything and everything. Her family adopted me totally to the point where I changed my last name. I took her last name and she took my last name.

What was your first impression of her?

I thought she was somewhat reserved but after that I got to know her better and found out about some of her history, which she had had a bad marriage. The marriage produced 2 beautiful children and we have 7 grandchildren but my only regret is that I didn’t meet her sooner and maybe she could have avoided that situation but there is an old saying: if you change one thing in your past then everything changes.

Her father was in the service and she traveled around the world when he was in the Air Force. And there have been at least a couple of times in our lives that we had been physically in sort of the same area, the Boston area, but had you guys not introduced us our paths never would have crossed. We move in totally different circles. But everything just clicked.

Listening to your story makes us happy too, Michael. We wish nothing but the best for you and Velda. What was your first date like and where did you go?

We went to McCormick & Schmidt’s restaurant at the Park Plaza hotel. I met her there and I got there first because it was like 2 hours from my house. When she got there, I didn’t know it was her when she passed by. Her hair was in corn rows and she walked in and then she mentioned to the waiter who she was and that she was waiting for someone. It was about the time she was due to arrive so I walked in and I asked whether she had arrived yet. She heard me asking if she arrived and so she walked over and said, "I’m Velda." I said, "Hi, I’m Michael, are you hungry? I know I am." So we went in and had a wonderful meal.

Now aren’t you happy that you joined The Right One?

Oh, without a doubt. If I hadn’t done it when I did it, I would not have met her. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that I might have met somebody that I might have got married to but I’ll be honest with you, I was at the point where I was about ready to put on a collar and say, "I’ve had it. Marriage is just not in the cards for me." I had been out on dates in my early years, I had been engaged twice before but I had my heart broken once and it never really worked out.

My mother and father, they were married for 65 years. My father proposed to my mother after 3 weeks. He knew very early on that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and he asked her if she was ready to get serious and she said yeah. And I have a lot of close friends who have been married and divorced at least once and I never got married but again, I’m very thankful that The Right One was able to hook me up with Velda.

So marriage with the right person, it’s probably the most wonderful thing that two human beings can experience together when it’s a good marriage. You have to work at it but as with anything that’s worth having, you have to work at it. And whatever you’re doing in life, if you’re with the person you want to be with, it just makes everything so much more enjoyable.

And Velda and I don’t have to be doing anything special. I mean we can be sitting at home watching TV or driving around, taking a walk but whatever, we enjoy each others company. And she’s independent and I’m independent and she doesn’t need a man in her life to make her complete and I don’t really need a woman in my life to make me complete but we compliment each other.

What one piece of advice would you recommend to someone that was thinking about becoming a member to The Right One?

Most importantly, have an open mind and be honest with yourself and be honest with the interviewers. The interviewers are trying to help you and everybody has flaws, human beings aren’t perfect, only God is perfect. But no matter what imperfections a person might have, there is somebody out there, or maybe more than one person out there, for them. The way to meet that person is through trial and error or with a little help from your friends, i.e. The Right One. You have somebody to do the leg work for you and it makes it a little easier.

There are people who like to go out on dates and stuff and if they don’t meet the right person, it’s no big deal. But I am the kind of person, I need to be and should be married to make me a better person. In fact, Velda makes me want to be a better man, to quote a line from one of Jack Nicholson’s movies.

The Right One ~ Susan & Joe

“When he’s around my daughter, he’s just like a little kid with her, and that makes me very happy and confident to know that if he takes care of me, he’ll take care of her as well.” - Susan 
 
Prior to coming to The Right One, how would you describe your dating experiences? 
 
Joe: It was hit or miss. 
 
Susan: I had a lot of bad dates back then. When I had my daughter, I didn’t have any time to go to a bar or to a club to meet anyone, and I was very shy to approach a gentleman.   
 
What made you decide to try The Right One? 
 
Joe: I was willing to take a chance with a dating service, because I wasn’t getting anywhere, and I wasted too much time. 
 
Susan: I was driving through the town, and I saw your ad and thought, “What the heck? I have nothing to lose!” So, I figured I would give it a shot. I am glad I did. I found the right one.  
 
Why did you choose The Right One over other dating services?

Susan: I heard a lot of great stuff about it. I knew you did background screenings; that I would meet someone who would be trustworthy, honest and with no criminal background. 
 
Was there sufficient communication between yourself and your personal matchmaker?

Joe: There was, but if I felt there wasn’t, I called up to change preferences and open up different avenues. 
 
What did you do on your first date?  
 
Susan: Our first date was at Chili’s. We had a dinner and really nice conversation. 
 
What were some of your other first impressions of each other?

Joe: I thought she looked very nice. 
 
Susan: Handsome and hard working and very confident. 
 
Obviously, you two hit it off well enough for a second date, right?

Joe: Yeah, well enough we had a second, third, fourth and fifth and 3,000 more dates after that.
 
Joe, when did you realize Susan was the right one for you?

Joe: After the second date.  
 
What about for you, Susan?

Susan: The second date as well. I knew then that he accepted me for who I am, no matter if I have a child or not. That was what I was looking for – someone who would care about me and the “package” I had along with me. When he’s around my daughter, he’s just like a little kid with her, and that makes me very happy and confident to know that if he takes care of me, he’ll take care of her as well.  
 
You two will be going on a cruise together soon. Will Kaitlin be coming along, too?  
 
Susan: No, this is just me and Joe, but she knows all about it and that I’m coming back. We’re going to take another vacation in August, and we’ll take her with us then. 
 
Any other future plans?

Joe: We’ve been talking about our plans, but everything is on hold at the moment.  
 
Why would you recommend The Right One to a friend?

Susan:  I would recommend it because you do criminal background checks. I have a best friend who is divorced now and has a son. I feel bad, because I go out with him, but he needs to find someone. So, I’m going to recommend he join The Right One. Hopefully, I can convince him to do that, because he needs a woman to make him happy.  
 
What advice would you give to someone who is thinking about becoming a member of The Right One?

Joe: You never know until you take the first step, until you try it.